Summer 2020 is going to be a unique summer thanks to the recent world events, so we moms need to take extra steps for summer self-care. The last few months have been hard and weird and this transition into summer is unlike any other. Most of our kids have already been home with us way more than usual. The world is still uncertain, anxiety is high, and summer is here! How do we enjoy this summer after what we have all just been through? How do we celebrate summer vacation when some stores, restaurants, churches, and more aren’t even opened yet? How do we survive and thrive over these next few months? I’ll tell you how….self-care.

What is self-care? Self-care is described as “the practice of taking action to preserve one’s own health”. Ok, so, do moms need self-care? YES! Is self-care easy for moms? NO! We moms have a million things running through our beautiful mom brains all the time. It is so difficult to make time for self-care and it’s hard to know where to start. This post will cover summer self-care for moms in 5 different categories. Self-care is so different for each and every mom, so work to find what works for you in your current season of life.

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For Your Body

Food & Water

An important part of summer self-care for moms is proper nutrition. Our days are so full and busy that it can be easy to fall into unhealthy nutrition habits. Think of summer as a season to focus on putting healthy and happy things into your body. Also, drink ALL of the water, momma. Drinking water will help digestion, dehydration, sleep, concentration, strength, and other things moms need. 

Sleep

Getting enough sleep can be almost impossible for moms, so we need to make it happen the best we can. Be aware of your bedtime and the time you wake up. If something is forcing you to wake up early in the morning, try to get to bed as soon as you can the night before. Avoid sugar and caffeine too late in the day and turn screens off at least 30 minutes before going to bed. Use some lavender lotion or take a night shower for even deeper relaxation.

Movement

Getting exercise isn’t just important for achieving a “summer bod”. Exercise and movement will make you look better and FEEL better! Add exercise to your daily schedule and work out for at least 30 minutes a day. This summer, pick an activity that excites you instead of something you dread. Go kayaking or hiking, find an online barre workout video, walk the neighborhood with your mom friends, find a way to move that you enjoy, and feel great all summer long.

Appreciate Your Body

Do you ever find yourself not allowing yourself to enjoy something because your body doesn’t look the way you want it to? Well, stop. That is a big no-no! Allow yourself some summer self-care by appreciating the body you have right now. Use your amazing body to participate in activities you enjoy, wear clothes you feel good in, and enjoy your summer! Put good food in your wonderful body and hydrate that body. Appreciate your body this summer.

Go Outside

One of the best things you can do for your summer self-care this season is to go outside! There are so many benefits to being outside. Fresh air is cleansing and healthy and rejuvenating. An outside activity can get your heart rate up for a healthy amount of time and movement will work your muscles and lubricate your joints. Sunshine provides us with vitamin D, just be sure to remember your sunscreen. Set a timer for 10 minutes each day and simply sit outside for those 10 glorious minutes. Take your kids on a walk, grill healthy foods, go on a hike or picnic, do stuff outside this summer.

For Your Mind

Projects & Goals

Do you have projects you want to complete this summer? We just moved into a new house in Illinois in March, so I have all of the projects to complete. Reupholstering chairs with one of my new mom friends, painting my 3-year-old daughter’s room “princess colors”, and creating an adult’s only hangout space in the basement for my husband and me are at the top of my list. Maybe you have a long list of events to host once social distancing is over. Perhaps you have work to catch up on or kid’s projects (like potty training) to complete. Whatever is important to you is important in general. Make time to complete the things you want to complete this summer. Your goals and passions are important, momma.

Schedule 

Now that you know your projects and goals for this summer, it’s time to schedule your time and prioritize your passions. We are moms and we are in charge of so very much each and every day. Kids, work, pets, cleaning, food, the list is never-ending and sometimes overwhelming. So how do we get everything done?! Schedule. Schedule your months, weeks, and days. Coordinate with your tribe so everyone’s schedules work together, but be sure to schedule your own projects too. Create a weekly schedule for your family and post the schedule for everyone to see and remember. Schedule your own days to make sure there is time for all of the important things. Scheduling your time truly helps get everything done and takes the guess-work out of what you should be doing at any given moment. 

Make Lists

Sometimes your to-do list will seem like a jumbled mess deep inside your mom brain. When this happens it’s time to start making lists. Having your to-do list written out on paper or typed into a phone or computer will help your overworked brain focus on tasks, not “what should I be doing next?” Some moms prefer a pen a paper, some love a heavy-duty paper planner, and some moms love having it all on their phone or computer. Find a list-making system that works for you. This can be a combination of lists as well. I write my daily to-do list on a piece of paper with color pens, but I use my kitchen Amazon Echo Show to keep an ongoing grocery list. Find what works for you and conquer your days with lists!

Clean & Organize

Most of us have been stuck at home for the last few months, so the house might be in shambles. Schedule some time this summer to clean and organize the areas of your house that need it most. Be sure to keep your list realistic by starting with the 4 areas of the house that need to be deep cleaned and/or organized the most. Once you have completed those 4 areas, make a new list of 4 more areas to clean. You will notice a difference in your home and mood almost immediately. 

Read Anything

Being a mom means being busy, but it doesn’t mean you are too busy to read! Reading is a wonderful way to show your mind some summer self-care. Don’t skip this part if you don’t like reading books, though. Reading can be done in so many ways! Obviously, making time to read books is wonderful if you enjoy that sort of thing. If you don’t love reading books, schedule some time to read a magazine or blog post every once in a while. Another creative option is to make time for listening to podcasts or “books on tape” (how old does that make me sound?! I mean books on Audible, etc.).  Feed that mom brain some summer self-care by reading.

Simply put, Lykke is the Danish word for happiness. Denmark is often at the top of the list in the World Happiness Rankings, and there is a method to their happy madness. While Lykke might be a Scandinavian tradition, we moms can take some of these habits to heart. The idea of Lykke focuses on enriching 6 different areas of your life. Focusing on these areas can also create happiness for moms, so I have used ideas to incorporate Lykke realistically in mom life. 

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• Togetherness – time spent with family, friends, and other positive communities
• Money – to pay the bills, experience things with your family, and give to others
• Health – focusing on your physical, mental, and spiritual health
• Freedom – having a great work/life balance
• Trust – trust, and hope in others and the general well-being and positive opportunities for all
• Kindness – being gracious with your words, actions, and giving

I have taken the concept of Lykke and put together a list of ways to find happiness for moms. There are suggestions and explanations in each section and the key is to focus on balancing each category. You can start slowly and add one Lykke task per week, or go all out and do something Lykke every single day. However you choose to add Lykke to your life, you and your family with great benefit. 

Togetherness

Find your Happy People

Take a mental look at the people you are surrounded by daily. Do they make you feel happy? Pick out the people who make you feel happy, the people that make you feel good about being yourself. The people who truly want what is best for you. Now, we can’t ONLY surround ourselves with happy people. Since that isn’t possible, try to schedule time around your happy people to recharge and refuel your own happiness. Schedule a playdate with the moms who inspire you and make you laugh. Go to family gatherings if your family makes you happy. Invite your in-laws over for dinner if you want to spend time with them (I’m spoiled with some amazing in-laws). Make time for your happy people.

Sit Down For Meals

Spending time together as a family on purpose is a great way to find happiness for moms. Not every schedule allows for each meal spent sitting down together, but scheduling time to make it happen can bring great happiness. Being creative with schedules can actually be fun! If you can’t all be at dinner together, try to make time to sit down for breakfast together in the morning. If you all love eating at restaurants, schedule dinner together at your favorite local dinner place. Schedule as much time as possible to sit down for meals together. 

Money

Giving

It has been proven that giving to others can create happiness in you. This great article called Giving: The Science of Lasting Happiness talks more about all of that. To start giving in your life, choose a mission or charity idea you want to support. Be very careful of some well-known charities, do some quick online research about the company you choose to give to. If you attend church, consider giving at their offering time. Most churches do a really good job using general offerings to help the world know Jesus. 

Invest In Yourself: Find a way to invest in yourself and you will add some happiness to your life. The way you do this will depend on your interests and unique personality. One way to invest in yourself is to take an online course. Find an e-course about photography or baking or scrapbooking. If you need help finding an e-course, please email me at amy@momfuelempire.com, I can point you in the right direction no matter what your interests are. Another way to invest in yourself is to get your hair or nails done professionally or get a massage. There are ways to do all of these things without spending an outrageous amount of money! Check online for coupons and local deals. 

Health

Go Outside

Getting some sunshine and fresh air is so healthy, but not always easy. I lived in California for many years and we were able to play outside almost every single day. For some moms, it can be as easy as playing outside with your kids for half an hour. Some moms enjoy taking their kids to the local park to play outside. If you work at home, take your lunch outside to eat when the weather is nice. If you work outside your home, take a few minutes to step outside for some fresh air and sunshine. As crazy busy as our schedules are, you might need to actually schedule your outside time. If the weather is awful outside, bundle up for some quick fresh air or wait until the weather is a little better. 

Move Your Body

We all need to get our heart rates up and going for 30 minutes each day, but as moms sometimes we don’t have the time for a traditional workout. Some moms enjoy taking their kids to the local gym daycare while they workout. Personally, I use Beachbody online workout videos at home so I can still attempt a workout with children hanging on me. If I know a workout just isn’t going to happen I use the YouTube App for kids yoga videos, including Frozen, Trolls, and more. For the more daring moms, try taking walks with your kids if you can fit them all in strollers. This might be chaotic, but it could also work really well! Find a realistic workout routine that works for YOU and make it happen.

Freedom

Let Go & Free Yourself

Elsa had it right in her most popular song from Disney’s Frozen: “Let it go, let it go, can’t hold me back anymore”. We all have things we need to learn to let go. It’s hard, momma, it is so hard. There are things you are holding onto that are holding you back. Maybe it’s drama with a friend, maybe it’s a dream not being followed. Set your goals and keep your eyes forward and let it go. Let go of the worries and the frustrations and the grudges. This is an excellent way to find happiness for moms as it frees you up to live your life and be yourself. Let go of what you can’t control. You aren’t responsible for what you can’t control. 

Get Rid Of The Clutter

Ok, this is a soft spot for me. We are currently packing our house with two kids in Arizona to move to a new house in Illinois. It is so trendy to get rid of clutter right now. It is still hard to decide what to keep and what to get rid of, but it’s been proven to increase happiness to de-clutter your living spaces. De-cluttering and cleaning can increase happiness and health in many ways. If you don’t know where to start, check out my post about 11 things moms might need to clean. It’s a list to help you organize and schedule some deep cleaning. 

Trust

Search For Positive News

There is so much drama and unnecessary fear caused by the media and it can be really draining to take in all the time. I’m not saying to stop watching the news, it’s super important to know what is going on in the world around you. My suggestion is to also search for some positive news. One of my favorite gadgets in my house is my Amazon Echo Show 5 which I use for recipes, timers, music, news, and so much more. One of the features of the Echo Show is a skill called “Good News”. You just say “Alexa, tell me some good news” and she tells you something positive about the world. Join positive Facebook groups with likeminded people and read mental health and self-improvement blogs and books. Put some happiness back in your life!

Become a member

Build trust within a community…..wait, what? This is so hard for moms. Moms are on duty 24/7, whether it’s at home with the kids, out at work, home at work, any situation. We do not have free time to join a club or group. We have to make time for it, momma. It’s a really great way to add happiness to your life. Becoming a member of something gives us a feeling of self-worth and purpose as well as the benefits of being in a community. Make sure that community is a positive organization, whether it’s a church, a Facebook group, or a Pinterest Tribe. Please contact me if you need help finding a positive group to become a member of, I can point you in the right direction.

Kindness

Show Gratitude

As simple as this sounds, it’s also very simple to forget. Showing gratitude can be done in many ways. A great way to start is by thanking the people around you verbally. Tell them, thank you for washing the dishes, thank you for spending time with me, thank you for being you. Another way to show gratitude is by random acts of kindness. Bake someone cookies because they brightened your day with a compliment. Email someone an Amazon Gift Card because you are thankful for their friendship during rough times. Showing gratitude is a great way to find happiness for moms.

Think Before You Post: This is such a sensitive subject and I see it happen every day; the harms of social media posting. Some of us are guilty of posting a comment or caption or email or blog post that might cause negative feelings in others. It’s perfectly normal for tone to be interpreted incorrectly on the other end and that is an honest misunderstanding. But if you have the power to only use positive words and phrases, you should use it! Before you post anything online, just do a quick once-over and think about how your post will generally make others feel. Spend a tiny bit of time adjusting your post to create more positive feelings in others. Promoting happiness around you will increase happiness in yourself as well.

Lykke was a popular trend in the US a few years ago and there are some really great resources on Amazon for further reading. I really like this My Little Lykke Journal and I really enjoyed reading this Little Book Of Lykke.

Do you have any other ways to add Lykke to life to find happiness for moms?

Cleaning around the house is important, but as moms, we have limited time and energy to spend on cleaning. This post has a list of things you might be forgetting to clean. Don’t freak out, none of these things have to happen right this minute. This list was created for real moms by real moms as a guide to help ease some of your cleaning anxiety. Use this post as an organized list to help you, momma.

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Having a clean house can reduce anxiety greatly, and I know this to be true in my own home. It’s OK to enjoy having a clean house, you might just have to be the one to clean it. Spring Cleaning is a great example of celebrating the importance of deep cleaning in your house. Doing some extra cleaning during flu and cold seasons is a good idea, too. A great way to help protect you and your family from sick is to clean a little extra and focus on the things you might be forgetting to clean. Here is a list of 11 things moms might need to clean:

1. Remote Controls & Phones

My husband teases me often because I still call these “clickers” and apparently that is an antiquated term. Whatever you call the remote controls in your house, clean them! Start by removing the batteries, then use a cleaning wipe or a cotton swab dipped in cleaner to clean the surface or buttons. Use a toothpick to get out the really stuck grime, you’re already in three so you might as well get it all cleaned out now. Put the batteries back in, and you’re back in action! This should be done to other remotes too, like garage door openers. 

Phones should really be cleaned daily with how much some of us use them, but try to schedule frequent phone cleanings for you and your family. If you have the time and energy, take your phone case off and clean your phone and case. I really like using these wipes to clean my phone. 

2. Door Frames

Cleaning your door frames will depend on what kind of door frame you have. Wood door frames require specific cleaning supplies and techniques. Painted door frames can also require special supplies and techniques. Don’t let this scare you away, cleaning door frames is still very important. Be sure to clean the adult height of the frame, including where adult hands touch most often. Clean the frame at a kid’s level too, I sometimes find orange fingerprints at this level. The most commonly forgotten door frame level is at pet height, especially where furry backs rub up and dirty tails whip back and forth. Don’t forget to clean at pet height. Clean door handles while you’re at it!

3. Lighting Switches

Light switches are something that we all touch every single day, but it can be hard to remember to make time to clean them. Schedule time as frequently as needed to clean your light switches and set a reminder for yourself so you don’t forget. While you are cleaning the light switches on the wall, make sure to clean the knobs and switches on ANY of your light fixtures including lamps and ceiling fans. 

4. Spot Cleaning Walls

It can be overwhelming to think about washing all of your walls at once, so focus on spot cleaning more frequently and deep cleaning every once in a while. A great place to spot clean walls is around your toilet paper handles in bathrooms. Another great place to spot clean is behind any of your sink taps. If any of your kids are dramatic wall brushers like mine (they put their hands and shoulders and faces all over the wall while throwing fits) make sure to spot clean the walls at kid height. And, again, I can’t stress enough how important it is to spot clean the walls at pet height. Our adorable pets transfer all sorts of things onto the walls and it’s easy to forget to clean. Dirty shoes can kick up dirt and grime onto the walls toward the bottom, so look for dirty areas down there to spot clean as well. 

5. Headphones

No matter what kind of headphones you have, they probably come in contact with things like your purse, ear wax, sweat, hands, and other kinda gross things. Some moms use their headphones daily at the gym, some moms use them at work all day, some moms use them to listen to podcasts whenever we can make the time. Earbuds will take some extra fine motor skills, but it needs to be done. Use your favorite search engines like Google or Pinterest to kind posts and videos about how to clean your specific type of headphones.

6. Handrails

If you have stairs or a ramp of any kind, you probably have handrails. This includes outdoor handrails, basement or attic handrails, and regular stairs handrails. Using the type of material your handrails are made out of, search online for ways to best clean your handrails. There are many posts and videos on cleaning handrails and the supplies and materials needed. Most handrails will need a microfiber cloth to clean with, and these are my favorite microfiber cloths.

7. Dining Chairs

I will always encourage family meals together at the table, and part of that is remembering to clean the dining chairs. Admittedly, we have meals in front of the TV or out at a restaurant periodically. But the majority of our meals are eaten at the kitchen table. Both of my kids touch their chairs multiple times throughout their meals, and my husband and I touch the chairs plenty. Dining chairs are an important thing for moms to remember to clean (or delegate for someone else to clean). I really like the lavender-scented cleaning supplies by Mrs. Meyers for general cleaning.

8. Pillows

This one is really hard for me to write about because 1. I love me some pillows and 2. I hate cleaning pillows. Pillows are lovely to have in so many places in the house like beds, couches, cars, and chairs. Pillows make life more comfortable, but they are also easily forgotten when it comes to laundry day. We change our sheets and wash our quilts, we need to clean our pillows, too. Most pillows are machine washable, simply remove the pillowcase and wash 2 pillows at a time in your washing machine to balance the laundry load. For pillows that cannot be machine washed, search online for safe ways to wash your specific type of pillow. 

9. Washing Machine & Dishwasher

These are really difficult things to remember to clean because they are rarely not in use. I try to schedule time once a month to clean my washing machine, and once a month to clean my dishwasher. There are cleaning solutions to purchase to clean both machines. This is my favorite dishwasher cleaner and this is my favorite washing machine cleaner. There are also many posts and videos online for cleaning with all-natural ingredients.

10. Your Refrigerator 

Schedule time about once a month to go through the food in your refrigerator and toss anything expired. Clean the surfaces under the food in your refrigerator, concentrating on any food spills. Clean the walls of the refrigerator and clean the shelves in the door. Organize the food you still have in there so you know how to find the things you need. Clean the outside of your refrigerator and pay special attention to the door handles and anywhere touched often. Clean the top of your refrigerator, the top surface and anything you might have up there can collect dirt and dust and all sorts of gross things, so don’t forget to clean it.

11. Vacuum Canister

I have learned this one the hard way. At my mom’s house in Vegas one day, I vacuumed up a pee-pee diaper the dog had chewed up. Being in charge of both savage children, I then simply put the vacuum away in the downstairs closet without cleaning out the canister. Let me tell you, that closet and the surrounding area smelled like a pee-pee diaper for a few days even after we cleaned the canister. Try to clean the canister of your vacuum each time you use it, even if it was just a quick vacuum job. It’s sort of fun (or appalling) to see the canister refill each time you take the vacuum out. I currently use a robot vacuum and need to clean the small canister after each use, but it is TOTALLY worth it. Read my article about 5 reasons you need a robot vacuum. This is the robot vacuum I currently use and love, check it out and get one for yourself!

Valentine’s Day as a mom may look different than any other season of your life, but it is still important to be able to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your family. While you may not be able to do all of the things you are used to doing on Valentine’s Day before having kids, there are still ways to celebrate each kind of love in your life. You can celebrate on February 14, the weekends before and/or after, or (like me) all month long. Whatever you prefer, choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your family this year. You deserve to enjoy this holiday; being a mom is one of the most important kinds of love I have ever known.

Each family will want to celebrate in ways unique top their own family personality and “vibe”. Here are 7 ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your family:

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1. Hand-Make Your Valentines

Don’t get me wrong, I will forever love the brightly colored cheaply constructed paper character Valentines from Target (bonus points if there is candy or a tattoo attached, am I right?), but some years you might want to hand-make the Valentines you and your kids pass out to your loved ones. Not only is this showing others how much you care for them through a hand made card, but this is also showing your kids that they are important enough to you for you to spend this special crafting time with them. It’s a win/win situation. I really enjoy this Cupid Paint and Canvas Valentine for Kids since it inspires and encourages art and creation while still being cute and cheeky for Valentine’s Day!

On the other hand, if crafting with your kids sounds like a nightmare, skip the mess and buy some ridiculously perfect pre-made valentines from Amazon. You don’t have to enjoy every single thing other moms enjoy….or pretend to enjoy. There are so many fun and special ways to spend time with your family on Valentine’s Day.

2. Read Valentine’s Day Books Together

One of our favorite ways to celebrate each season in the Larson household is through holiday-themed books. We try our best to read a book or five to our kids every night. Sometimes I get so lost in the story I am reading Ella that I am surprised when the ending comes. Other nights I quickly skip through pages at a time…as much as I can without being noticed by a sleepy toddler.

Here is a blog post covering some of the best Valentine’s Day books for kids. Books can be started at the beginning of the month to start the celebration early, or they can be given as a gift on Valentine’s Day. Save your books and read them year after year!

3. Create Montessori-Inspired Valentine’s Trays

Another activity option for babies and toddlers is themed holiday trays. These activity trays can be created using things from around your house plus a few extra supplies. They provide hours (or at least minutes) of educational entertainment plus these activities help build you bond with your kids. 

Valentine’s Day can sometimes be harder to celebrate since it is right after the chaos of Christmas and in some areas its right in the middle of some cabin fever/seasonal depression. These Montessori-inspired Valentine’s trays are a great indoor activity to help stimulate the brain and add some color to your wintery day!

4. Play Valentine Bingo

Holiday-themed games are a great way to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your family. Card games and board games are a great way to spent time together indoors and can be a great opportunity to celebrate the holidays together. Time spent together as a family has benefits on everyone involved, and spending time with the friends of your kids has similar benefits.

This printable Valentine Bingo game is one we love playing as a family. You can print a variety of options depending on how many people are playing. This game is great for small families as well as larger groups of kids. These printable can be used for things like Sunday school or for class parties put on by room moms. Nothing beats a classic game of bingo!

5. Create a Zero Waste Valentine 

I admit I am not super educated when it comes to the world of “zero waste”, but I really like the idea of it all. A few times a year we are able to visit my favorite zoo in St. Louis, Missouri. Inside the zoo cafeteria and eating area, there are bins labeled compost, recycle, and landfill. Under each label is a quick description of each category. My last visit included my two kids under 3 and I didn’t get my trash perfectly sorted, but I tried and I appreciate that those kinds of trash bins exist!

This blog post explains my all-time favorite idea for a zero waste Valentine to craft with your kids. This zero waste Valentine contains a “cutie” citrus fruit and a printable that says “you’re a cutie” all wrapped together with twine. I love everything pink and red, but this bright pop of orange makes me really happy to see during the Valentine season. These can easily be handed out at your family event as well as used for a class Valentine for your child(ren). You get extra mom points for making fruit fun to eat.

6. Gift a Couple’s Gratitude Journal

It can be difficult to find the perfect gift for your husband, boyfriend, or loved one year after year. In seasons of early parenthood, it can be hard to take romantic vacations or even keep a weekly date night. The gift of a couple’s gratitude journal, much like this one, is a creative and touching way to show your Loe and affection.

The creator of this couple’s gratitude journal encourages you to “Initiate The Appreciation, Even If It Isn’t Deserved Or Reciprocated”. Valentine’s Day is a wonderful season to initiate appreciation for your man. Consider gifting him this couple’s gratitude journal and enjoy spending more quality time together.

7. Make a Date Night in a Jar

If you are feeling crafty and want to make a meaningful gift for your man, take a look at this post about how to make a date night in a jar. This would be a great gift for your husband or loved one, and the benefits of keeping up with the date night in a jar are countless. 

The author, Lisa, states that this will help you “date your spouse without leaving the house” which is a really fun and positive perspective to have during the season of motherhood. 

What other ways can you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your family?

Enjoying holidays as a mom is a completely different ballgame than enjoying holidays before having kids. Things may happen a little differently, but moms are still allowed to ENJOY their holidays. Valentine’s Day is often overlooked being so close to the chaos of Christmas, yet a holiday celebrating love should be special to moms. Being a mom is one of the best forms of love out there, and you should be encouraged to celebrate Valentine’s Day especially if you are a mom.

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So, how do we celebrate Valentine’s Day as a mom? For the sake of keeping things short and sweet, here are 3 guidelines to remember when choosing if and how to celebrate holidays:

1. If you want to celebrate, make it happen. If you don’t want to celebrate, skip it. Don’t let anyone guilt you into or out of celebrating holidays

2. Only you really know how you want to celebrate. Pinterest and Instagram can give you ideas, but don’t let social media make you feel the need to be something you are not. If you don’t enjoy crafts, try baking or board games as alternative activities. If you hate all things slime and glitter, that is 100% ok, do not force it. Do something you enjoy with your kids and pat yourself on the back for being the best mom for your kids.

3. Make sure your expectations are realistic. The glass decorations and hand-painted Valentines may be part of your pre-kids chapter of life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day in a more realistic mom-way. Here are some ways to enjoy Valentine’s Day as a mom.

1. Do a themed craft with your kids.

If you enjoy crafting, make some time and space for a special Valentines-themed craft to do with your kids. Pinterest has so many incredible ideas for holiday-themed crafts to do with your kids. One of my personal favorites is the Valentine’s Day Love Bug Craft from The Growing Creatives featuring unused terra cotta pots and a few other general supplies. Taking the time to do a craft with your children has so many benefits for everyone involved and is one of my favorite ways to celebrate the holidays as a mom.

2. Celebrate Valentine’s Day with your child(ren).

Celebrating Valentine’s Day after having kids means your focus will no longer be only romantic. Now you get to celebrate different kinds of love, and there are many great ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your child. Creating time and space for yourself to celebrate part of Valentine’s Day with your kids benefits your entire family. Some of my favorite easy and fun ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your child can be found in this blog post  by Tamara from The Pomegranate Mom. 

3. Show yourself love on Valentine’s Day.

Instagram sometimes tells us that self-love means spa days, excessive girls nights out, luxurious vacations, perfectly styled events, and more. Sure, yes, those things would be a wonderful way to show yourself love (if you do these things….teach me your ways), but there are many other less dramatic ways to love yourself. Take some time this Valentine’s Day to schedule some self-love. I love the ideas found in this blog post about showing yourself love on Valentine’s Day from Gina at Steps to Self. If you are feeling extra, make a plan to show yourself some love the entire month of February!

4. Celebrate Valentine’s Day with decorations.

It’s been proven that your mood can be boosted or elevated with well-placed decorations that remind you of things you love. Each and every mom has their own style for their decorations, and each mom knows what decor will make her happy. My mom’s birthday is on valentine’s Day and she has always declared her home space with hearts and love-themed elements. I personally can’t stand decorations with words on them, but I love switching holiday-themed decorations out. I have friends who work hard to make their house look like a Restoration Hardware display, and I have other friends with hallways showcasing their toddler’s latest artwork. Be you, celebrate you, and put up some decorations for you this Valentine’s Day. One of my favorite ideas covers fabulous Valentine’s Day letter board ideas.

5. Schedule the romantic stuff on Valentine’s Day.

There is nothing wrong with celebrating the romantic side of Valentine’s Day after you have kids. You might just be in a season of being creative when it comes to making time for romantic activities. The first rule is DO NOT wait for free time to celebrate your romantic love, you have to make time. You might not be able to go out for a fancy dinner and stay overnight in a fancy hotel, but there are still many ways to celebrate your romantic love on Valentine’s Day. Here are some of my favorite affordable Valentine’s Day date ideas from Kelly at CityToast 2 SouthernTea. Use them to spark an idea and create a plan of your own. Happy Valentine’s Day, Momma!

How do you like to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a mom?

While this post is for anyone who wants to help a friend or family member with babies in the NICU, or Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, it can also serve as a source of encouragement and support for readers with their own babies in the NICU. 

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Many times throughout my years of working with people, I have heard and seen people searching for answers to a very important question: How do I help someone with babies in the NICU? I’ve seen this question posted in hundreds of Facebook support groups. I’ve had dozens of church members asks myself or my husband this question. And, honestly, there is no way I could have answered this question before the year 2016. 

My 3 year old daughter, Ella,

was born through an emergency C-section after a serious case of HELLP Syndrome. She breathed in her meconium before she was born and spent 18 days in the NICU. Since I had HELLPS I stayed in the hospital for 9 days total. I was released from the hospital without my baby, and as any NICU mom will tell you….that is one of the most devastating things to deal with. To make things more interesting, we live in a small town 2 hours from the Las Vegas hospital our daughter was born in. During that time we drove pumped milk to Vegas every day to see our Ella, but we also had to come back home 2 hours away to recover and for my husband to work (my incredible husband is a pastor and preached Christmas Day service with our daughter in the NICU 2 hours away. Like I said….incredible).

This is my husband, Brandon, and I with our little girl, Ella, in 2016 at Sunrise Hospital in Las Vegas, NV.

A few strong and caring women with similar stories offered to help others by telling their story. I asked each NICU mom questions that provided answers to guide you if you know a NICU mom or dad. I have organized the answers into 3 categories:

• Advice for a NICU Mom or Dad
• Encouragement for a NICU Mom or Dad
• Gifts for a NICU Mom or Dad

Each category includes real wisdom from real NICU moms all over the country. A few of these moms are also bloggers. I have included a short biography about these amazing women and a link to their work. My hope is to connect moms to every support system that fits their needs. I love and believe in each and every one of the mom bloggers I feature in this post, and I encourage you to get to know them as well!

Encouragement for a NICU Mom or Dad

“It is okay to stay home for a few hours and take a nap. You need to restore your energy.”

“You will not be here forever. It felt like it and I bawled almost every night or time I had to leave.”

“One encouraging thing I would want to hear is that I should try to continue trying to breastfeed. Instead I was told it wasn’t going to happen and my baby would starve if I tried to breastfeed her.”

“It’s okay to cry every time you leave your baby. It’s scary, they’re with “strangers” and not with you. But your baby is honestly in a situation that is out of your control and capabilities. My son would’ve died if I had taken him home, he had trouble breathing and eating. The cords and monitors all seem so scary and they get in the way of your bonding sometimes. But do what the nurses say: visit when you can, eat, rest and sleep as much as you can, and know your baby will be home sooner than you think. My little guy is 15 mos old and at about 4 mos the memories stopped really coming up, of him being there. I often forget he was ever a preemie. – Gabrielle Breann Terrell @ thegabbygoose.com

“I’m not sure what would have been encouraging, other maybe God speaking to me in His special way letting me know that we were going to be okay. When we were in the NICU, my deceased uncle came to me in a dream, like he was never sick, and he just kept telling me “she’s a fighter, she’s a fighter. She’s okay.” And it was like a calming spirit washed over me, I was still a nervous wreck but I kept seeing his smile and his words. When we’re finally discharged, on the way home a truck very much like his, came up beside us, with a man that looked amazingly like my uncle driving, the man smiled and threw a thumbs up.” – Amy Kent @ www.thekentkrew.com

“My name is Amy Kent, I am a girl mom (times two), married to one of my favorite guys, a daughter, a Jesus follower and so much more. I love preworkout and a great sweat, I collect books like trophies, I love to cook but hate a dirty kitchen. I love grungy country music, bell bottom pants, turquoise (the mineral) and converses. Our house is full of love and laughter as we navigate this busy life together, focusing on keeping the important parts of life the biggest parts, and building a healthy and safe place in our family of four! My blog, The Kent Krew, is a lifestyle blog, focusing on all things Mom life, and Jesus, of course! I hope you’ll join me, follow us on a Bible Study, or just simply become friends!”

Get to know Amy and follow her blog at www.thekentkrew.com.

Advice for a NICU Mom or Dad

“Don’t compare your baby to any of the other babies.”

“One thing I wish someone would have told me: don’t ever believe them when they tell you your baby may go home tomorrow or whatever day they tell you. Because usually whatever doctor tells you that isn’t the one working that next day. Don’t believe your baby is going home until he/she is in the car seat and you are on your way home!”

“I wish someone would have told me that I didn’t have to feel guilty for going home to rest while my baby was in the NICU.”

“I highly recommend people give Dads more credit, they kinda get side lined in the process and its rough on them too” – Kacey Mason 

Get to know Kacey and learn about her business, My Crafty Zoo.

“I never imagined I would have a baby in the NICU. Unfortunately, I don’t think there is anything that could have made it better or easier. I never realized how special the NICU is, how safe but critical it is, and how special those nurses would always be to me.”

“I have a few things. I wish they had told me that overall, the NICU would be good, but that every NICU nurse is not created equal. And that, within reason, they will be as accommodating to what you want for your baby as possible! They are there to make the experience easier on you.”

“It is okay to be terrified of the NICU. We had toured because of a HR pregnancy but never thought we’d be there as long as we were. Do not be afraid to ask questions and really dive into your babies care. There is so little you can do at first. Diaper changes and temps became my favorite time of day.” – Emily Zutterman

Emily is a work at home wife and mom of a 3 year old little boy and 1 year old twin girls.  She is an a Virtual Marketing Assistant and enjoys a good workout and cup of coffee. You can contact her at especiallyemilyz@gmail.com.

Gifts for a NICU Mom or Dad

“As for a gift, restaurant gift cards as I was always in the car coming or going (the hospital was an hour away from home) or even homemade meals.”

“I would have loved to receive an encouraging book or a thoughtful pocket card just to show that someone cared.”

“I will say the gifts I appreciated the most were home cooked food.”

“Ubereats. Or food gift cards. Seriously. We never left the hospital for the two weeks she was in the NICU, well I didn’t, my husband did, to get food. He knew I wouldn’t eat the hospital food, and he knew I needed to eat, especially since I was breastfeeding and pumping. My grandmother gave us cash, my dad brought us some, my aunts ordered for us, and it was one of the biggest blessings during the entire thing, besides prayers answered.”

“I wish I had been given baby monitors and an owlet monitor. You get so used to knowing how they are doing that you get anxious bringing them home and not knowing their oxygen, etc. I wish I had had the owlet.”

“Care packages of snacks and drinks to keep in the NICU fridge so I wouldn’t have had to leave the floor to go to the cafeteria.”

The gift I would suggest is the gift of patience. I know this doesn’t sound like much, but it would mean the world to any NICU parent. No one is “good” at being a NICU parents and no one can plan ahead for having a baby in the NICU. Give NICU parents a little bit extra patience when interacting with them, they are doing their best with the given circumstances. 

This is me as a NICU mom with our little Ella in 2016 at Sunrise Hospital in Las Vegas, NV.