Proverbs 31 may seem like a long list of ways to be “the perfect woman”.  And some literature may make you think this chapter in the Bible is telling us how to be one version of a perfect woman. But, momma, Proverbs 31 is actually telling us this:

Godly women are a blessing to their families, they should be celebrated, and their strength comes from God.

Wow, let that sink in for a minute. Sniff it, swirl it around in your mouth a little, and then let’s talk about it some more.

Proverbs 31 (starting at verse 10) is often interpreted as a checklist for how to be a proper woman. But what if we were to view this scripture as a list of unique and beautiful ways this author’s wife and mother of his children bless their family? The author is appreciating this individual woman, HIS woman, and is trying to teach other men to appreciate and celebrate their women too.

For example, let’s take a look at verses 25-31.

Perhaps the reason so many have struggled with trying to measure up to this list is that this passage is a description of an example of a godly woman, not a prescription for how to be one. Even though this is describing an individual woman, it’s still in the Bible for good reason. If we look closely we can see how these descriptions relate to us personally.

Verse 25

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

I started at this verse because it talks about strength. “Mom Strong” is one of my all-time favorite phrases right now. Describing great things like strength and dignity as “clothing” is important here. We often think that it’s up to us to “clothe” ourselves this way, to make ourselves strong. But what if this isn’t a command, but a little bit of sweet Gospel good news?In baptism, we were clothed in Christ’s righteousness. Clothed. And because of baptism, God sees us as if we are as perfect, as strong, and as obedient as Jesus. With God’s strength wrapped around us, we can, in turn, be a blessing to our family and to the world!

What does laughing at the time to come mean for us? When we’re certain about the ending, everything before that is a little less scary, and that especially applies to us moms. When we know Who holds the future, we can be a little more relaxed about what the future holds. When we trust in God we tend to laugh off more of the things Satan throws at us.

Verse 26

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

I don’t know about you, but the last few months I have NOT earned any awards for speaking wisdom or teaching kindness. No, it’s been a lot of the opposite. So does this verse apply to me even though I don’t feel like it’s an accurate description of my current self? Yep! And I bet it applies to you as well, momma. I bet you are doing a lot more than you realize. Do you tell your kids to pick up their crap 20 times a day? Well, congratulations, that was 20 times you opened your mouth to wisdom. As moms, we open our mouths to wisdom all day every day. And that deserves some recognition. I see you, you are doing a great job!

The same goes for teaching kindness; we teach kindness by showing kindness. And your kids see you and are learning kindness by watching you. So, again, great job! You are doing wonderful things clothes in His strength!

Verse 27

She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.

OK, I freaking feel this one. Don’t you feel like you are constantly in charge of every single thing in your household? I do, and sometimes I pout about it. Imagine if someone noticed how much I’m in charge of. I don’t really want someone else to take control, I just want someone to notice and appreciate me. Welp, here it is! In the Bible! God wants us to read this scripture verse celebrating a woman who takes care of her family. YOU should be celebrated.

The bread of idleness makes me a little nervous. Do I need to be doing more? Am I too lazy? Do I spend too much time on my phone? Is my schedule full enough? Momma, let’s take a deep breath together. What if idleness isn’t talking about WHAT you do, but WHY you do it? Maybe instead of trying to balance many things, we should be putting passion into each individual thing we do. One thing at a time. Watch Below Deck on Bravo with passion. Make a homemade pie with passion. Play outside with your kids with passion. Nap with passion. The way I see it if you are doing something with passion you are not idle. 

Verse 28

Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

This is the ideal situation, a mom who is called blessed by her kids and has a husband that praises her. Some days I do, but the last thing my 3-year-old called me was “psycho” so it’s not always that way. As moms, we can’t rely on our kids or husbands to verbally praise us. Sometimes we need to look deeper to find the praise. Does your husband ask for a second helping of a meal you cooked? That could be seen as high praise! Do people comment on how well-behaved your kids are? There’s some more praise. 

Notice here how it says her children “rise up” and call her blessed? I can’t help but notice her kids aren’t complimenting her at age 3. I think back in my life and I didn’t really thank my mom or call her blessed until after high school, and she is and was an AMAZING mom. Sometimes great moms don’t get appreciated right away. Now that I am a mom I see so much more of what my own mom does for our family. Let’s pray that God shines His light in a broken world so moms everywhere may feel appreciated and celebrated. And remember, this text is just as much a reminder to husbands and children to speak up about the blessing their wife/mom is! Food for thought!

Verse 29

“Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”

Here’s another reminder that this is descriptive, not prescriptive. The New Oxford American Dictionary says that the word descriptive means “describing or classifying without expressing feelings or judging”. Even though there seems to be a lot of emotion going into this description, Psalm 31 is much more about a godly woman being praised by a grateful husband and not a way to shame other women. 

Verse 30

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

We don’t have to look frumpy to be a good mom or woman. Not at all! This means our identity is based on who God declared us to be in Christ. It’s not based on what we look like or what we have or even what we do. Our identity is based on who we are and whose we are. We are God’s creation. 

What does it mean to fear the Lord? This phrase is found in the Bible a lot and I always need to take a minute to remember what it means. Simply put, fear the Lord means to recognize and believe that God is in control of all things and we are not. It’s also trusting God to provide for all of our needs. The author of Proverbs 31 is trying to tell the world to appreciate and celebrate women, moms, wives, all of us.

Verse 31

Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

This verse changes to more of a prescriptive tone, talking to everyone and anyone. So, not only should children and husbands appreciate and celebrate moms, but everyone should. That includes other moms. Moms should celebrate and appreciate other moms. Martin Luther once remarked that just one mother does more good in a day than a thousand monks in a lifetime. The way that you serve God by taking care of your children and family is exactly the kind of thing the Bible calls “Good Works”, and God blesses the world through YOU!

This verse reminds us that because moms work hard, moms should also enjoy their lives and have a good reputation. This whole passage is a man writing other men instructions for how to not take their women for granted. This can all be one huge reminder to appreciate women, especially moms. You are strong! And this strength isn’t because you check-off boxes on some list. You are strong because you have the strength of God on your side, holding you up, and carrying you through. Thank God for you, and the care that you give to your family!

For further reading:

The Enduring Word Bible

Ponder Anew Hymn Journal

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